🔗 Share this article Navigating my Yearning for Casual Encounters Whilst Seeking a Committed Partnership Being a homosexual male approaching 50, I’ve spent many, mostly pleasurable years pursuing casual sex with other men since the age of 19. During my fourth decade, I was in a committed partnership which continued for four years, but I never felt completely content, in that I felt neither loved or sexually nourished. The fact is that I have always craved casual sex. Whenever I start seeing a potential partner, when the initial excitement fades, I always get the urge to have sex with other men once more. Reflecting on the Possibility of Exclusive Commitment Currently, I'm contemplating if I’ll ever be able to sustain a monogamous relationship. I understand that many homosexual males engage in open relationships, but from my observations, they appear demanding, frequently causing significant heartache and envy among all parties. To a large extent, I want a partner to love me while letting me pursue other intimacies, however I dread to imagine the emotional drain this would cause. Should I just continue to have casual sex and acknowledge that a lasting partnership is not possible? I feel a bit lost. Every person’s sexual journey varies. Avoid considering of your relationship needs or your ability to handle different types of intimate connections in a finite way. What you need in your current state could easily shift in the future; at a certain time you may find yourself less ambivalent and find greater understanding and a comfortable path … or not. At some point you might meet someone who provides a transformative opportunity to you through mirroring what you want completely … and later on you may choose that casual connections suit you best. Worrying about what lies ahead and engaging in endless speculation is merely anxiety-based and a waste of your energy. Aim to stay in the moment with your partners, and recognize the value of every individual you connect with intimately a sexual connection. If and when you are ever ready to deepen true intimacy with one partner, it will be clear. The psychotherapist practices as a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating intimacy issues.